the Crossroads

Darkness, whether it be in the mind, heart or penetrating the very depths of your soul.......is a space of complete void. Emptiness, cold and uninviting.
Darkness has no friends, just enemies, and it is a very lonely place.

     Things in life are not explained away so easily for me, as for anyone else. We all have choices in life, and we have a choice to accept or deny.

Dear Daddy, (Father God)
Help those that read this see this as a confession of faith for you, about you and the changes in my life, I received are only from you!
In your name I humbly ask,
AMEN!!
    
     My life with the Lord started at age 15. Life was grand at 15.
Abruptly, things in my life took a turn for the worse, and our family was swept from everything I knew, to everything in turmoil, in a matter of days. I was a new Christian, not strong in the Lord yet, when this all happened. I got angry, so very angry with God! I yelled and screamed at Him. I didn't know it was ok, to get mad at God! (Yes, it is, but always, go to Him......talk with Him, tell Him why you are mad, and the two of you work it out).  I didn't know that back then, so, I just fell away. I thought I had blown it, and I thought in my heart(this is where we decide which way we will go in life, is our heart), I thought well, there is no turning back now.

     Many times in my life, and many people, good kind people, tried to tell me how I should live, what I should do, where I should be, and on and on..
Needless to say, since my falling away, I had become rebellious.............

Darkness stepped in, then, strife, then temptation, witch craft, satanic involvement, religious cults, new age, drugs, alcohol, personal involments, mind altering trances, cutting, sitings of various "alien" creatures(demons), posession, a life of fantasy, nothing seemed real any more. When temptation went on vacation, guilt stepped in, more drugs, to hide my guilt, then shame took over, and when shame couldn't do the job, fear took over.

Fear did a number on me and it lasted a total of 25 plus years. What I know now, will be hard for those who don't know to understand, that Daddy was waiting...in the wings...for me! Crying with me and for me, Jesus would go to the Father, Daddy God, on my behalf, with love for me, asking for my protection, a covering, if you will. This is one thing our Daddy couldn't do.....He will not force himself upon us. Only we can make that decision.

Have you had enough? Are you broken in mind, body or spirit? Can you hear Him? He is calling your name, even now. Listen. Do you hear it? Do you feel Him? That tugging at your heart? It is Daddy God, and He is saying.....
"My child I love you, come home, come rest. Come, come, come I will love you, hold you, care for you".

I had enough. I ran across to my Daddy with my tears running down my face, yelling "Daddy, Daddy take me home".
For now, home is here. Someday I will go to my heavenly home, and live with you all. Right now, I have a job to do. I have to do this first. And when the time is right, I will go home to be with Daddy God, to live a life fit for His dancing princess!

In His love,

Grasshopper